One of the top reasons that marriages fail is unhealthy, unaired, or unmet expectations. Many couples do not discuss what they expect from one another in a relationship, and sometimes, even with agreements in place, one party may do more taking than giving. When this happens, it can create dissatisfaction, bitterness, and resentment. Here are some common expectations of husbands and wives.
☯ A Husband’s Expectations of His Wife
Most people assume physical intimacy is the number one thing a man wants from a relationship. However, without respect, companionship, and commitment, a man is as likely to be dissatisfied as a woman would be. Healthy men enjoy the companionship of a live-in best friend and have a strong desire to be admired and feel loved. As a result, physical intimacy doesn’t come close to summing up his needs.
☯ A Wife’s Expectations of Her Husband
There is often much more that goes into physical attraction for women than mere visuals, such as trustworthiness, leadership qualities, and a man’s ability to protect her and provide for the family. Women are often painted as the ones who need the most from a relationship, but the truth is they are just often more vocal about it. Their needs are not so very different from their partners.
☯ Shared Marriage Expectations
Because husbands and wives have similar needs and expectations, there are many shared aspects. For example, both parties expect faithfulness. Having an affair is one of the most hurtful and harmful acts of betrayal and is often the reason one party calls a divorce lawyer to intervene. Another shared expectation is domestic cooperation, such as cleaning the house, cooking, budgeting, and planning.
When Expectations Don’t Line Up
When expectations and reality become incompatible, it’s important to have an honest conversation about what’s wrong and how both parties can contribute to fixing it. If the married couple cannot come to a peaceful and shared conclusion, then marriage counseling is one solution. Marriage counselors can offer many ideas that couples don’t realize they can use successfully. Failing this step, many couples will eventually turn to divorce.